Hello Home Fries! Elizabeth here to give you the rundown on chapters thirteen through seventeen of Pride And Prejudice. Interspersed with the details of each chapter are the thoughts and responses of myself and Rachael, my co-host here at Exemplary Vegetables. I’d just like to warn you, the bad boy has arrived!
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Pride And Prejudice Chapters 13-17 Summary
In Chapters 13-17 we meet two new bachelors: Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham. There’s bad blood between Wickham and Darcy, and we hear Wickham’s side of the drama. Mr. Collins is looking for a wife and has his eye on Elizabeth… eventually. I mean, he was willing to settle on her. So lucky Lizzie.
Pride and Prejudice Chapter Thirteen Summary; How to Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
Chapter 13 begins with the news that Mr. Bennet has received word that a guest will come to dinner and forces the ladies to guess who it will be. He says, “It’s a gentleman and a stranger.” The ladies guess, “BINGLEY!” Ummm no….this reminds me of Monty Python! Blue! No Green!
Mr. Bennet suggests Mrs. Bennet will need to ensure a good dinner and as the family is guessing who it is, Mrs. Bennet throws shade by suggesting it can’t be the Lucasses, as they have a crappy cook. Mrs. Bennet thinks, “No, it can’t possibly be Charlotte, she would think my dinners are 5-star Michelin quality compared to what she often sees at home.”
Finally, Mr. Bennet reveals that he has received a letter from Mr. Collins, the incumbent owner of the Bennet estate. The letter arrived a month ago and it took him two weeks to answer it. Mr. Bennet is a very slow writer. I think Mr. Bennet would leave Mrs. Bennet’s texts on read.
Mrs. Bennet thinks having Mr. Collins to dinner is an awful idea. Mr. Bennet shares the letter with the ladies in order to convince them that the situation may not be so dire. The letter contains the following information:
- Mr. Collins feels bad about the bad blood between his family and the Bennets; he wants to heal the old wounds in a “special way”.
- He has become a pastor and has a church near Rosings Park.
- He has been distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honorable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, a rich lady who lives at Rosings Park.
- He’s coming to dinner.
The ladies are surprised by the contents of the letter. They are curious. Elizabeth asks if Mr. Collins is a sensible man.
Her father replies that he is positive that he will be the opposite of sensible….nah, girl, pretty sure he’s absolutely ridiculous. Mary suggests that Mr. Collins is a very good letter writer, but he should have avoided the too-common, overused idiom of the olive branch. Thank you Mary, on behalf of English teachers everywhere. She “Mary-splains” to her sisters about things.
Lydia and Kitty NOPE Mr. Collins immediately because he’s not an officer. Hard Pass. Unless you show up with a red coat on, it’s a no for Lydia and Kitty.
Mrs. Bennet begins to suspect Mr. Collin’s motives for coming to dinner and goes into wedding planning mode.
Mr. Collins arrives and starts sucking up to everyone. He compliments the girls and Mrs. Bennet reminds him that they better get husbands or else they’ll be poor. Mr. Collins is like, you mean because I’m going to kick them out when I inherit this place? And Mrs. Bennet is like, ya think??? He starts to answer her, but it’s time for dinner.
Mr. Collins goes on complimenting the dining room. The narrator notes it would be so much nicer if he wasn’t complimenting things he’d own later. Hey, I like your chair…I mean MY chair. “Oooooh! I love this hall… and these daughters… they’ll all be MINE!”
Pride And Prejudice Chapter Fourteen Summary; How To Woo A Woman With Literature
Chapter 14 continues with dinner and Mr. Collins discussing his relationship with Lady Catherine de Bourgh. She’s invited him to dinner and for cards, she speaks to him like a gentleman, and she even suggested he put shelves in a closet.
OOOOH shelves are great.
Where are the excellent boiled potatoes and exemplary vegetables!!?? I’m sorry to inform you, dear Home Fries, that these lines from the 2005 film are not written by Jane Austen, but by Joe Wright and his screenwriter, Deborah Moggach. We owe them so much.
Mr. Collins brings up Lady Catherine’s daughter, who is sickly but just great. Mr. Collins discusses his ability to pay compliments to Lady Catherine and her daughter. And Mr. Bennet asks if he writes up his compliments ahead of time or if they are spontaneously created. Mr. Bennet is delighted that Mr. Collins is, indeed, ridiculous.
After dinner, Mr. Collins desires to read to the group. But he refuses a novel, choosing instead to read from Fordyce’s Sermons. No one is happy about this. They had this whole selection of novels that they’re reading from, and Mr. Collins is like SMUT.
Lydia interrupts his reading after three pages. Mr. Collins delivers a short lecture, but gives up reading to play backgammon with Mr. Bennet.
We don’t always find ourselves on Lydia’s side, but in this case, we are TEAM LYDIA all the way.
Pride and Prejudice Chapter Fifteen Summary; How to Identify the Hottest Guy Ever
Chapter 15 continues with the narrator describing Mr. Collins, who was clearly not a sensible man. There’s so much Jane Austen does to set up how pompous Mr. Collins is. But my favorite is when she describes how humble he portrays himself. “Look at me being all humble, did you see me? I’m like the humblest of them all!”
Mr. Collins is in Longbourn looking for a wife. He quickly settles on Jane. However, Mrs. Bennet tells him that Jane is not available, as she’s about to become engaged to Mr. Bingley. So Mr. Collins switches to Elizabeth. Mrs. Bennet is ecstatic. One down, four to go!
The girls decide to go visit Mrs. Phillips in Meryton and Mr. Bennet practically forces Mr. Collins to join them because he is sick of having him up in his space. Lydia and Kitty are loose on the town, looking for officers. And then HE appears on the street. The hottie of hotties. He’s handsome, he’s witty, he’s charming, he’s an officer…he’s Mr. Wickham. All of the girls are smitten, immediately. I, too, am licking the pages of my book…now I’ll have to buy a new one…sigh.
Then Darcy and Bingley show up on horses. It is immediately apparent that Darcy and Wickham know each and hate each other. Elizabeth notices this and PAYS ATTENTION: one man turned white and one man turned red. And even though she’s not Lydia or Kitty, she’s silently here for the drama! Especially if there’s something against Darcy, she’s here for it!
Darcy rides off, and Bingley follows. The larger group goes to Mrs. Phillips’ house. Mrs. Phillips fills Elizabeth in on the origin of the Wickham gossip. And as much as we know what will happen later on with hottie McHot pants Wickham… everyone is enamored with him. I mean, I, too, am enamored with Mr. Wickham.
Lydia and Kitty now find all officers who are not Wickham to be stupid and disagreeable. The group plays cards.
As they walk home, Jane and Elizabeth attempt to analyze the bad blood between Wickham and Darcy. And Mr. Collins is like “Did you see how much everyone liked me? They’re having a party in my honor?” when really, you were just there and it would have been rude to exclude you.
Pride And Prejudice Chapter Sixteen Summary; How To Trash Talk Like A Pro
Chapter 16 brings us to a party at the Phillips’ home. Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham attend with the Bennet ladies. Mr. Collins makes a small faux pas when he compares the Phillips’ house with the one room at Rosings, but the girls smooth over his error. He then brings up the 800 pound chimney at Rosings. He’ll mention this every chance he gets. He’s obsessed with this chimney.
Wickham has all the girls’ attention and is way better than the other men. He sits with Elizabeth and they talk while the others play cards.
He brings up Mr. Darcy. Wickham says he grew up with Darcy. Elizabeth says everyone in Meryton hates Darcy. Wickham gives his sad tale of how Darcy’s dad liked Wickham better than Darcy. He starts off by saying how “I cannot possibly give his opinion of Darcy because I can’t be impartial… but here is my very detailed opinion of Mr. Darcy”
Apparently, old Mr. Darcy left Wickham money and when he died, young Darcy didn’t want to give Wickham the inheritance out of spite. He also says that people like Darcy because he’s so rich, but that underneath, he’s a real jerk. Then Wickham trashes Georgiana Darcy, saying she’s snobby, too. At this point, Rachael would like to punch Wickham in the throat.
Mr. Wickham is distracted by Mr. Collin’s mention of Lady Catherine, especially when he shares that Lady Catherine has financially supported him.
Wickham explains that Darcy is to marry Lady Catherine’s daughter. Elizabeth thinks that the two deserve each other. I couldn’t help but have “You ain’t nothing but a Gold-digger, Gold-digger” running through my head at this moment, and although I am here for all the Wickham moments, I felt just a bit suspicious of my man Wickham.
Rachael noted that as Mr. Wickham was talking, the cool meter on the eligible bachelor scale went down a little bit! But Elizabeth Bennet doesn’t see it because she doesn’t like Darcy. If he was talking about Bingley, she wouldn’t have been as enthralled.
Pride And Prejudice Chapter Seventeen Summary; How To Find Private Places To Talk
Chapter 17 begins with a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth as the two attempt to decide who is right about Darcy: Wickham or Bingley. Jane says they are both right (because they are both nice and Jane is nice and isn’t this nice) Elizabeth says nope. Wickham is right. She is like LET MR DARCY DARE SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT
We then learn that this whole chat took place in a bush. They were summoned from the shrubbery! Really? Is there no other place in the whole of Longbourn for these two girls to talk? They have to resort to whispering in a bush?
The Bingleys show up to invite them to the ball at Netherfield Park. They only speak to Jane and repeatedly ask if she’s okay. Elizabeth might scratch out their eyes. Jane thinks that the ball might end with a proposal from Bingley. Elizabeth thinks about dancing with Wickham and making Darcy angry. Kitty and Lydia think of dancing. Mary thinks that she may enjoy the ball for a brief moment.
Elizabeth asks Mr. Collins about the ball and immediately regrets it. She realizes that he’s all into her and he tells her they’re gonna dance at the ball. At first she’s like, oh Mr. Collins, it’s a shame you can’t go and dance and frolic because your morals forbade it… but he’s like OH Lady Catherine de Bourgh would approve, so party on!
She’s mad because now she can’t dance with Wickham til later. And she also realizes that she has to dance with Mr. Collins twice! It’s like Jimmy Fallon when he’s dressed up with that blonde wig and he’s like EW!
She also realizes that her mother is planning on making her marry Mr. Collins. It rains, preventing a walk to Meryton, so thank goodness there’s a ball for Lydia and Kitty to prep for, otherwise they’d be so sad. Thanks Jane Austen for focussing on the really important details here. LOL.
And that’s it for Exemplary Vegetables’ Pride And Prejudice Chapters 13-17 Summary, Home Fries! Hope you enjoyed it.
Wishing you excellent boiled potatoes!
From The Podcast
Each week, we discuss the superlatives of the section on our podcast, Exemplary Vegetables. We cover our favorite and least favorite characters based on completely made up criteria. Although Rachael usually picks who is nicest or most misunderstood as her favorite. These characters are called “Exemplary Vegetables.”
Exemplary Vegetable
Elizabeth's Pick
Elizabeth chose Mr. Bennet. He is so excited that Mr. Collins is an idiot. It’s adorable how he’s like, yep….my guess was correct!
Rachael's Pick
Rachael chose Mr. Bennet too! He knows it’s a necessary thing to have Mr. Collins inherit his estate, and there’s a whole forgiveness thing between their two fathers. And other than the time when he makes the girls take Mr. Collins to town with them, he kindly steers him away from torturing them with Fordyce’s sermons so they get a break from him.
Barely Tolerable Dance Partners
What a slam, right? Again, using completely made up criteria, we list the character that just doesn’t do it for us. Although, I’ll give you a hint for future scenes: Elizabeth, the english teacher usually chooses characters that have little or no character development. Rachael, the first grade teacher, usually chooses characters that are big meanies.
Elizabeth's Pick
Elizabeth chose Jane. Jane kinda sucks in the analysis of Darcy vs Wickham. She wants to please everyone, so she tries not to take sides. She and Bingley deserve each other. How will they ever decide on wall paper or china patterns?
Rachael's Pick
Rachael chose Mr. Collins. He’s pompous, he’d like you to think that he’s humble, but he’s decidedly NOT, and he name drops LCDB every second of the day. He’s also so crappy about his inheriting the estate… All this will be mine some day and even though I’m NOT sorry, I’ll pretend I’m soooo sorry and make amends by marrying the first daughter that is also hot, that is also available to make up for the whole thing. I LOVE the thought of his character, and he’s a beloved annoyance, but he’s just so smarmy!
First Impressions: Renaming Pride and Prejudice Chapters One Through Four
Since Jane Austen did not name her chapters. We took it upon ourselves to name her chapters. Will it improve upon her great works? Absolutely not. Is it fun? Yep.
Elizabeth's Pick
I’d rename this chunk It’s Rainin’ Men! So many bachelors coming to town. What’s a girl to do?
Rachael's Pick
Rachael went with Fordyce and Chill! For all the obvious reasons. Also, Elizabeth said it once a few weeks ago, and Rachael wrote it on a sticky note so she could remember it for this episode.
Ribbon Rating: Pride and Prejudice Chapters One Through Four Rating
We rank the episode from 1-10 of Lydia’s ribbons. And again, no rules. Just what we think would earn the best ribbons from Meryton’s Millener shop.
Elizabeth's Pick
Elizabeth gives this section 9 ribbons. The section is about what an idiot Mr. Collins is are awesome. Also, Wickham is my favorite hottie bad boy.
Rachael's Pick
Rachael gives this section an 8, she loves how Mr. Collins’ss’sss and Mr. Wickham’s arrival gets everyone all in a tizzy.
Next Week On The Exemplary Vegetables Podcast
We’ll be reading Chapters 18-23 and discussing the 2005 Pride And Prejudice film adaptation from 33:59 – 52:17. Here’s our reading guide if you’d like to plan ahead.
Don’t forget to check us out on social media too. See you then!
